I wasn't sure I would see this day so soon. Well I actually have been waiting a long time....but never say "die." This whole wedding event, shenanigans etc....has sent me over the edge. I never see my son or even get the privilege of talking to him one on one - always a third party in the background. After the shower I was convinced things had changed for good. Mummy saying 'we've lost our boy" certainly has not helped my ever increasing depression. I have so much to say and I've waited so long. I should never have stopped writing because I truly believe that it is cathartic to write it down and rid ones self of negative or painful feelings. Although I have still felt very weepy today, I really do feel better. I feel like so,me of my issues have been resolved and that I have actually been "heard" by Tyler. I refuse to feel like I am being selfish in wanting to maintain a separate relationship with my son. I want our very few moments just together without him attempting to make TWO women happy at the same time. There is absolutely no comparison or competition between her and I. I am his mother of almost 27 years and she is his wife to be of almost 2 years......big difference and absolutely no comparison. I am so proud of his work ethic, his loyalty to Ann and what a self-sufficient man that he has become. And yes, it has come from within himself but I do feel like I had a part in the development of some of it. I don't want a "thanks" or anything of that nature what I really long for is at least an hour a month of just "mother and son."
In Which She Writes Promises Her Blog Can't Cash
4 years ago
