All in all my meds are doing a good job. Not to say that all is perfect, it isn't. The increase in Neurontin has given my mouth the trembles and makes my eyes flutter when looking at something up close. These are small things, but bothersome nonetheless! I just can't seem to find a benzo other than Xanax that really, really helps with my anxiety and I am running out of options. I've only had 3 "down" days in the past month or two so I think I need to be grateful and I am. My therapy has maintained at once a week which still feels rather intensive and there are times I simply have nothing of worth to say. I'm definitely still not over the loss of a long term friendship and doubt whether I will ever trust and be vulnerable with another woman again. It has been one of the most painful experiences and biggest losses of my life. If only we could turn back the clock and make things right again but I have to believe there is some type of lesson to be learned here, I just haven't figured out what. I'm learning to share and vent on Twitter which seems like a good release for me even though I am limited to very few words. Bipolar Us is a great one to follow, if only to feel like there are others that I can relate to, be it very random.
On a bright note, I just won tickets tonight to see Garbage at the 9:30 Club on my 16th Anniversary and I am psyched! Love my some Shirley Manson and used to play "Stupid Girl" all the time when I was hating on myself.
I've still got Eleuthera on my mind. Feel like part of my dream has been stolen. Am trying to decide now if I will return or make my next trip to Exuma! Lutra was spoiled in so many ways for me that I still feel "robbed" of my childhood dream. Sooner or later that too shall pass.
Today I am grateful to be alive, alert, aloft n a'ight :) Blogging is good. Santorini looks good too.
Today my thoughts go out to a friend from HS (way back) who is in the hospital in a coma. May she find her way back!
