Taco Bell on my nerves

This is the third time I have been to Taco Bell to get Sam her beloved bean burrito with no onions and..............it had fuckin onions on it again. When will I learn to check the burrito before I leave the parking lot?? Confirmed the no onions three times no less. I was spittin nails. Called and have whatever we want next visit FREE! And so it should be. Sam asked all day for a burrito. OHHHH, I am so annoyed. I love the guy on the phone tho....did you want to drive back? Like I am gonna go all the way back to Taco Bell for a 99cent burrito?!?!? WTF
OK, maybe I am a wee bit irritable today. Time for "mother's little helper."

Good day at Therapy....

Today was a good therapy day. Always glad to see A. As usual my time just flew by - I am hardly Ever at a loss for words! We agreed that my monthly visit was enough - despite what NP said. I am very lucky to have developed such a great bond and admiration for my therapist. We have come so far in seven years! (Time to pat Self on back)

Next I tootled off to my favorite thirft store - in search of a bargain. Did pretty good, more vintage linens, lovely divided bowl oh, and some Mickey Mouse coasters to put on Ebay. For some reason Mickey Mouse sells well - go figure. Don't know if I will keep the serving/divided dish or put it on Etsy....which I am going to do very soon! I fuckin am so stop with the snickers! Can't we just all get abong?? Scooted off to Costco next to get my staples: salmon, chicken-apple sausages, ground turkey and of course a HuGe dessert - I am walking now so.....Lemon blueberry coffee cake is so allowed - HuGe I tell you and Mike's eaten half of it already.....get the fuck off my dessert! I think Mike's dessert is his beer and I don't drink that so......cake all mine, well guess Sam can have some. Stood in cigarette cage for long time - musta been long cause someone pushed my cart out of the line -- bastards. Was staring at all the prices - yeah, guess I'm not quite over the big ciggie hike up your arse...Got me some more generics (120's which means they are suPer long)as there seemed to be a bit of a buying frenzy with a limit to 2 cartons for personal use. All the addicts are stocking up before they go up a few more dollars in April! F*F*S*S**C**K*F**B

Yes, I did talk to A about the smoking addiction....still have not had any "shining light moments".

Moving forward with our vAcA blog. Looks good, and is a fun read - was even funnier trying to remember everything we did each day.....we got all confused and thought we were there eight nites and not seven - praise Jah there is a date stamp on our pics! Now I can remember the minutia, what? forget about the minutia? Sorry homey, not a chance.

Right now I can't really focus on much else than my upcoming trip. I keep going over the what to take clotheswise thing....and don't forget your tripod. Think I need to get case and put in closet and start dumping "necessities" in it. I'm getting my tan on and yes I am tan obsessed. Cannot show up in the islands as white as a ghost! Gotta be a little "sunkissed", I'm gonna end up looking like the old Florida lady in "There's Something About Mary"- ya know with the leathery chesty. Will sunscream that area well.

Walked today (Thursday), even tho it was raining! Neither Brenda nor I wanted to be the one to call to say we couldn't walk because of the rain! Oh, the determination. Svelte body here we come! Needless to say me trousers were soaking - but we did it. I am now hunched back over the computer. What on earth am I going to do for NINE whole days without it? Well I can think of worse things to be without for nine days - so am good to go.


NOTE TO SISSY: There are mean people out there, use your biatch radar! You are not allowed to let anyone "walk" on you. Don't let them turkey buzzards get you down! You have a focus and more adventures ahead of you. You can stick it out there - your time is short, if Chow Mein moves your stuff - fucking move it back! You pay rent! The "LEE" we know is tough...
Now make up your mind about your dates.....ahh, c'mon - Ashram in India or Holden Beach with the Family? Either way you're gonna end up with a funny tummy:)

I think I'm having a cigarette meltdown....no, no, no

Ok, I think I have been in shock all week. I have been thinking non-stop about the whole ciggie cost thing. OMG! I feel like a fucking junky who know's where her next fix is but doesn't have anything to left pawn. Kinda sounds like "rock bottom" but there is no rocky bottom in the river D'Nile!! Instead, I shouted out to all my dealers (fag ash lil friends) to find out the low down on who's going to the Indian Reservation? North Carolina? South of the Border? And how many cartons can I get? Oh, oh, and can I use my coupons! My friend B is not only going to keep my up to date on the cig runs (brings Christopher Multisante to mind!) but we are going to start "walking" a few days aweek and have promised ourselves NOT to smoke while we walk.......baby steps, baby steps!

Then wait.........yes, believe it or not, I had a MoMeNt of clarity!. Why not just take advantage of this crisis to QUIT.

I tell you why not! I LOVE MY FUCKING CIGGIE BUTTS - boo hoo......I think I'm gonna have to go to a psych ward or detox place - where they DON'T take ciggy breaks every hour!! So seeing as I was down to my last pack and being as glum as possible, I headed to Wal-Fart for some more hair dye -another sign that things are askew:) and asked my "usual express line less than happy to be there cashier" for the CHEAPEST cigarettes they had! I'm a creature of habit - I will drive across town just to get MY brand. I am now the proud smoker of USA GOLD Menthol Lights, kinda like drinking out of a brown bag. PROBLEM has been bandaged. Mike said he would rather pay for me to go to Florida to get some new "shot" (oh, I'm sure it works......) to quit.

So this may be the year.....no pressure please - just throwin it out there, no intervention needed - YET! But I'm kinda thinking detox sounds tempting - great place to make friends!

Sister Love

I have lots and lots of Sister love! I am so upset that someone was unkind to my sister. And yes, I would hit them upside the head if I was there! When are women going to realize that they need to stick together and stop acting like they are on opposing teams? The word "competition" should never enter the equation, with your sister, your BFF's, your cousins or any female friends..........unless you are playing Scrabble! Never push those away in need - just think for a moment if the shoe were on the other foot. You should always have each others best interests at heart. If you are not feeling anything coming from the heart - then maybe that's not a relationship for you. We must learn to embrace every difference, foible, mannerism, yada yada....in the those we love. Naturally, there is a "little something" we are going to find that really is not our own cup of tea but... variety is the spice of life. I want my sister and my sister friends to feel like they can totally be themselves whenever they are with me. I don't want to judge or critique - I want to share the love. When I am with you - I am with you. You never need to question or doubt my loyalty. I love all in unique ways. I will fight for you, defend you, do your hair, tell you if your outfit looks iffy.....I will be honest but it won't hurt.

Sissy..........hang in there! You have your Bali trip to look forward to. Note to self: vAcA with SISTAH FRIENDS

The "other" blog!

What a miserably cold and wet day! Daddy and I took Sam to see Coraline .....3D no less. Was a bit of adjustment with the glasses and I did nod off for about 10 mins....but it was a cute, dark little ditty! We managed to scarf down a large popcorn - Sammy of course had it on her lap, so am thinking she ate at least 1/2 of it! Bag of M&M's each (wisely stopped at 7-11) and that pair shared an Almond Joy too! We had a quick stop in the mall, WE NEVER SHOP ALL TOGETHER!!. Mike got him some nice "boat shoes", verrry niiiice at Norstrom Rack....couldn't really look around, Mike makes me feel like I'm on a mission and.....well I'm not. Saw a lovely summer dress in the new Neiman Marcus but when I peaked at price tag I nearly fell over and needed to get out of there quickly.
Was glad to get home, lots of people out and about and not the bestest driving conditions. My face hurt and I have earache. Either pollen or sinus infection. Yes, I'm hypo'ing. That's it.
My sissy is at WOMAD New Zealand - that would be so cool. I think I am happy to look forward to a vAcA in the same place each year - if I could just have a house there.........LOTTERY BE GOOD TO ME! I WILL SHARE!! Ma and Pa leave for UK next week for 50th with Aunty B & Uncle B with whom they had a double wedding. Hope all goes smooth......many people to please in short time. Will be last trip together to UK am sure. Filled Sissy in on all oer's and ohh's. Said a prayer for Grandma Vera and hope that her quality of life is still "ok" for turning 91. Was super nice to chat and laugh with my cuz, Marnie! Am happy to have her back in my life and there are lots of GOOD things we can remember together....and my sissy has a good memory - well sometimes skewed, but good:)

www.thegirlzdoeleuthera.blogspot.com

Hopie, layout is great! I love that one and it seems roomier! Am so happy to have a beach blog.... Will let RRBF know about it. Have to look up yahoo address cause can't confirm it, think I got it wrong. I'm excited to "write" it all down.

I'm Remembering Before I Start Forgetting...

I remember vacationing in Morecambe at the Seaside - located just below the Lake District and to the West of the Yorkshire Dales (hmmm, think nippy & wet!) It was an adventure without Mom and we were young, maybe I was 5 or 6? We must have been either visiting from Germany or moving back to UK from Germany whilst Dad went to Vietnam. So that would make it 1967. Found a great picture of the type of B&B we stayed in - just think forty-two years ago...I was not happy that Lee got to bunk up in the "lofty, very low slanted ceiling" room with Gran and Aunty Pat. Even way back then I was not known as an "early riser". Two must haves: sleep & peanutbutter! I got to bunk with Aunty Barb and Uncle Bill and cousin Paul. Barb and Bill were never known for their early rising routine - they were the sleeper-inners! But when you are that young and sleeping in a strange place, hello.....you wake up early! Well at least Paul and I did. And....to make matters worse, we would hear Pat, Gran and Lee leaving their room. So we were usually that last at breakfast which was a total Faulty Towers affair. They had one of the dumb waiters.....and they would yell down the shaft "send up some more bread, Dad!" in a very thick Yorkshire accent. Of course, we were "all about the toast" people! There is nothing like white, English bread, toasted, cut in triangles and smeared with GOOD butter. The best. I remember a few trips down to the "beach". We were rugged up well, and it was overcast and spitting. We got to ride the donkeys. Mostly I remember being in the dining room with all the other guests and eating. Lots of cups of tea everywhere and asking for more bread and waiting oh so patiently for him to pull the rope and up it would pop on the dumb waiter thingy. We laughed all the time. Will have to have Sissy fill in the blanks. Oh lots of Rock candy!

Going, Going, Gone

OK, I'm gorging on my Cadbury's Cream Egg and thinking I am "ohhh so risky - edge liver, yeah!" Finally booked a flight - so forget all the other OCD shit I wrote - I THRIVE on PROcrastination for PREservation! That's gotta be it. Keeps the adrenaline pumping - cause let's face it not much else, at the moment, does... Still feel like I'm getting riskier - that risky, seat of the pants gal went somewhere. I saw her the other day, so I know she's coming home. NExt year STANDBY?! Will research "standby blogs", soon. I absofuckinglutely promise myself not to go look up flights till we are planning our next momcation/eleutheravention! So next plan to obsess over is "packing lite" - oohh.....how many swimsuits? One pair of cargos? 2 shorts? 6 tops? panties?of course! I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN!!

Digression: what the fuck should I do with my hair? I am sick of it - yes, again!! Short and go back to blond, let it grow out and change color, short layers? fuck I hate it when I DISlike my hair. That's it, I'm gonna go tomorrow and let my hairdresser decide. See how easy it can be. I have looked at the same haircut magazine a GAzillion times....gazillion. Some new cheap glasses, new hairdo, new adventure - do I need more of a kick up the arse than that? Yeah, well let us not go off the deep end, eh? So I guess I'm a little wound up! Must try and shut down for awhile......many lists to write now.

Follow up on the mortification....

OK, after a rational moment - they are doing their job. I am a non-complying patient. But in my defense - it all costs money!! Yep, that's all folks.

Yes, they are out to get you.....

Ok, I am totally fucking mortified. My GP office called today to ASK if I had followed thru on any of their suggestions (I use the word "suggestions" loosely) .... And yes, that would be plural. Of course I haven't - it's only been like a week since I went. Am I getting a house call soon? Should I hold off on that shower in hopes of a sponge bath? My name's gonna be on some weird cyber chart that says "doesn't follow instructions!" I feel like I need to call to say "I can eggsplain Lucy"....Doesn't refilling my RX's count? Will they refuse to see me if I don't comply. Oh, I'm a freakin. Maybe a Thank You note....nah.

Mom's work is endless.........

Golly Goshers! Somedays I just feel like a fucking maid. Along with my PMS and Perimenopausal - I am feeling bitchy and whiny! I am so tired of picking up dirty clothes, gum wrappers, bottle tops and the list goes on and on.....I even shoveled the driveway and froze my ass off in "feels like" ten degree weather! I am done with winter. I don't want to see it on anything other than a postcard. I think I cleaned the kitchen three times yesterday. I am done. I want a lifestyle change....I want CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE............

I have zero inner peace. Yeah, ok, gonna take the xanax and try and chill. What if I get a one way ticket on my "momcation???" I will be viewed as a DESERTER/AWOL...oh oh oh. Think I need chocolate.

Proud Moments in a not so boring as I think life....

Tyler called and asked if Sammy and I wanted to come up to the Fire Dept. and take a tour as it was quiet. I was in my pj's....at 4 in the afternoon....I had lost Samantha to, what I assumed correctly, the woods....letting her BFF borrow her coat in 35 degrees or less weather.....

So, I got my ass in the bathroom and did my quick blow away of the bed head, brushed the teeth & washed the face....

put on standard - levis that go up without undoing, smelly Uggs, sweater and black jacket Sissy left.

And just before I was about to leave I gave a quick buzz to Tyler and no answer? AAGGGHHH

Tried again and he had to go out on quick call.....so we took our coats off and waited a half an hour while Mike hmmmd, and aahhhd at the Applebees menu online. Decided to keep our $20 cert. for another weekend.

Got coats back on and headed over to Lake Jackson. Bloody cold out again. Nice short, country road drive. Tyler was standing out front waiting for us! Showed us all around super fancy, and high tech Lake Jackson VFD. Huge! We saw everything. Gorgeous kitchen with a really huge, industrial like, patterned stainless steel table - flat screen. TV room with huge flat screen and ginormous leather chairs that lean back OMG! Stadium like seating! State of the art gym....more flat screens. Super nice sleeping area with pillow top mattress. Individual bathrooms with toilet, sink & shower in each. OMG! Better than a home away from home. Volunteering is a good thing!

We got to go in brand new state of the art ambulance, fire truck! It was all super exciting and I could tell how proud Tyler was. He is going to be an awesome EMT!!

I am a very proud mom!